Monday, October 20, 2014

It's here and so are we.

In three weeks since I got back from NYC, I've been just trying to recover from everything that's happened in the last couple of months, which has been a lot. Naturally, I got sick right after I got home and since then have just been playing catch-up. Whether it's mundane everyday things like laundry and sweeping, or bigger seasonal things like canning and drying, or projects joint and my own, there seems to be stuff to do from morning to night.

And now it's fall. Gone are my youthful days of being quick to declare favorites, but as far as seasons go, I love this time of year. It's such a cliche, living in the country, reveling in the abundance of food, the changing light and weather, but the seasons are very tangible and real here, each with their own distinct character and meaning.

We have a new agenda too: every Saturday Charlie and I try to do something fun together. This year has been a year of wild adventures, but it's also been one of work, exciting, but endless. One of the casualties of that schedule has been our time together.

Used to be, we had countless mornings to go on walks and mushroom hunts, but this year, we've stuck our noses to the grindstone. I have to say, as good as that is, I really don't believe in filling every waking moment with doing things. Your brain, relationships, creativity needs empty space and un-clocked time.

So we've decided on this new thing. Of just being together, without much of an agenda. Of doing something, productive or not, together every weekend. Casting aside chores, phone calls, necessary documents waiting to be filled and signed and taking off going outside, the beach, the woods, or as we did last weekend, another island.

I had been planning to check out the local film festival's first year and visit Emmy, whom I haven't seen since spring and at the last minute Charlie decided to join me.

We watched films, got drinks, visited the bookstore, the homestead store, the vintage farm stand, the coffee shop. We tooled around aimlessly.

As much as it's not ideal, physically leaving the house seems to be the way for us to have that space and so that's part of the agenda. A walk, a paddle, a ferry ride, a hike, a picnic.

A change of scenery, a change of pace, some time to talk and walk. That's all we need.

Coming home, we were refreshed, ready to tackle things together and on our own, back on the same page, reacquainted with our current selves and each other.

So we're caving in. Saturday is date-night. But I'm not calling it that. And there will be no candlelight. Unless the power goes out again...

How do you reconnect with your partner best? Or friends for that matter? That's next on my agenda. I have oodles reconnections to make...


  1. Despite being overly busy and ill, you look positively glowing and refreshed in that bottom pic :)

  2. This is a great topic of discussion! D. and I have been struggling to make time for one another lately... he has taken on a pretty tough teaching load this semester, which compounded with farm work (which is never ending....) has left little time this semester for us to spend time together. I, of course, handle it like a champ I don't whine, complain, interrupt his studies, or emphasize my unhappiness about this change in anyway (said me never). I'm not sure when this came to me, but I decided to really roll up my pant legs and stop complaining about it and really take more initiative on the farm. For a long time I only did a small share of the work, since I was the one working so much. I decided enough was enough and that if I really wanted to spend time with D. I needed to stop complaining about it, and figure out a way to make it work. We now sometimes spend our "date nights" weeding greens, or planting onions sets together, or going to the farm store and picking out seeds (my fave!). This sense of mutual cooperation and farmer camaraderie which I began to do for him, has been extremely rewarding for me as well. I have gotten really into planning the garden, and have so much more pride in our work. That has done more for our relationship than all of those candle-lit dinners (that we never had) :) Love this last pic of you too, btw :)

  3. You are so lovely!
    After being married for almost 10 years, the way my husband and I reconnect has definitely changed. Our minds are open to any opportunity, be it a walk while our son is at school, or an actual "date night" where we drop the kid off at grandma's. Recently, we couldn't decide what to do, so we drove down to the river at twilight and listened to the gulls and drank wine in the car.

  4. I have such a hard time with the idea of date night. Maybe I never had enough good "dates" in my life. But spending time with my husband is really important to me, even if it just means staying up a little later to read intertwined.

  5. These images are so lovely and they inspire me so much!
    I love the color of autumn!
    Greetings from my little island in Italy :)

  6. "...reacquainted with our current selves and each other" I love that! For us this time away together also works its magic (like our recent trip to England, or just days outside together), as does a good weekend night together on the couch with no agenda and good snacks!