Monday, December 30, 2013

A Lion Heart

No matter the culture, or what the actual date is, the days around New Year are always about reflecting on the past and our hopes for the future. Like most holidays, it marks time, a before-after-point, however artificial, in our lives. We remember years, as we learn about time, first school years, then calendar years. Even before time existed for us, our childhood memories were organized as our childhood pictures are: by summers and Christmases and birthdays.

Something about a set date inspires us to pin our hopes for change, our goals, our aspirations to it. I've never been one for big resolutions on the New Year, or my birthday, or before a certain age, but I have a feeling that this coming year is going to be big and amazing, fertile ground to set all kinds of wild and woolly dreams free.

Change is a funny thing. Before it happens, it seems intimidating, unsurmountable, sometimes unfathomable, yet the moment it arrives, good, or bad, it becomes our reality.

I don't know about you, but change is hard for me. I dread its arrival, worry about its consequences. Or at least that's what I've always thought. Yet, I've often sought it, made intuitive decisions at moment's notice, turned on my heels and gone the opposite way. I've changed countries, continents, careers, life plans, married someone after knowing them scarcely a year, embraced the utter unknown against all reason on the strength of my internal compass and looking back, it's never led me astray. The opposite, in fact. Whenever I've truly been lost in my life, I've chosen change and found myself again and again.

Well, sometimes I've found myself at rather strange places and circumstances, but found none the less. Beggars can't be and all that...

For me, 2013 has been the year in waiting, the seemingly everlasting moment when things just hang in the air right before gravity takes hold, a place of uncertainty and tension. That's not to say that nothing happened, there was plenty of life and movement, and our "new" lives have been in steady motion in the last quarter of the year, but it has decidedly been twelve months of the "what if?".

I guess what I'm trying to say, is that, I'm ready. Come what may. That you can't fear the inevitable. And while all this other stuff is changing, I'm actually resolved to make a few additional changes and take a couple of extra risks.

We're going forward with our bravest selves first, not the brash, bragging ones, asserting their own bravery, but just deciding to trust our instincts, ready to pick the good fight. More than anything, to me, being brave is the going towards the big, scary things and trusting that you'll somehow manage.

This spring I was getting a lot of readings that warned me about a coming change, emphasis on the word warned. They were making me rather apprehensive because they implied nothing about the quality of the change. That is until Amber let me borrow her Wild Unknown Tarot at the Herbal Symposium. I asked the same question that had been plaguing me all spring and this is the card I pulled. The very same one that appeared this morning.

"The Two of Pentacles signifies inevitable change. Since the pentacles suit relates to earthly possessions this usually means a new job, financial situation, or a move. Even if you fear this change it needs to happen & might even be fun. Face it with the grace of a newly formed butterfly...a world of possibilities balanced upon your delicate wings."

A change is coming for sure. It's already here. You know, because it's like, the only constant and stuff.

We don't really none of us have choice about this do we?

I do however, promise you that some things will never change. In the coming year, you will most certainly still be subjected to plenty of pictures of my cats, fowls, the natural world, this red polka-dot frock, my handsome husband, activist rants, book reviews, wild edibles, folk-remedies, thoughts on love, art, human-animal-relations, fairy-tales and mismatched floral patterns.

I'll finally reveal our new undertakings and shower you with gratitude for your patience with my elusive hinting.

In addition, you will hopefully be able to read about the following topics here in the coming year:
Radical Feminism, God, Religion, Spirituality and FaithFemale Friendships,  The Practice of The Tarot, The Death of Blogging,  Why Would You Not Have Children?!?!?Wild Women of The WoodsClothes and Consumerism. To start with...

What's changing for you and yours in the new year? Do you thrive on change, or like me, feel a little intimidated by it?

And hey, Happy New Year!


  1. You should get a cut from that deck's sales :) After seeing your pictures of it in this post and the previous one, I had to order it. My goals for the new year are to practice yoga more, take more walks, and to only purchase ethically sourced, quality clothing that will last me a long time. I need to figure out my "rules" for just what that means.

    1. Hahahaha! I actually have a whole post about how this is not an ad-free blog, it's just that I advertise things that I really love, for FREE! That said, I really think you'll love the Wild Unknown, it's so accessible and open, not to mention, obviously, beautiful. Happy New Year, dear, may you reach all your goals. And I'd be really interested on your clothing experiences.

    2. I have set up a blog post on my site to publish tomorrow with my thoughts about clothing and this venture in particular. Hopefully my website software will actually publish it when it's supposed to (knock on wood). It's failed me in the past!

  2. Hehe, minäkin oon tässä pari kuukautta harkinnut tuon pakan tilaamista :)
    Mahtavaa tulevaa vuotta ja kaikkea hyvää teille muutosten tuulten puhaltaessa!
    Minulla on myös ollut hiljaisesti uutta muotoileva vuosi, tuntuu tosi hyvältä astua kohti tulevaa jo tapahtuneiden suuntaa muovaavien osasten kanssa. Enimmäkseen taas luotan siihen, että asiat järjestyvät :)

  3. Happy New Year to you, Milla! I am the same - I struggle with change something fierce. But I feel the same as you - that 2014 promises something magical in store. You've intrigued me with your posts to come, too - cannot wait!


  4. As I was reading my cards yesterday, I was totally baffled and thought about emailing you to see if you had suggestions for a good book. When I saw your post, I immediately went over to etsy and grabbed the guidebook.

  5. I have a word for impending, frightening, inevitable change. Joyfear. Knowing that change is coming, not knowing what it will bring, but making it through to the other side, only to see it was the right thing all along. You've got it all going in your favor, girl. You trust your instincts, you have the support of loved ones. Go out there and make 2014 the year of change!
    Can't wait to hear of the new project you are planning....Joyfear!

    1. I just have to say, I love the word Joyfear! I'm going to write it on a post-it and stick it on my wall!

    2. Yes! I agree! "Joyfear", perfect... Reading it made my heart quicken a few beats. I may have to write this down as well!

  6. I'm excited for you! May this new year be the best one yet!

  7. I feel like I haven't commented in so long!
    I both fear and embrace change, or maybe embrace and fear it. I do feel that I always need new stimulation, I guess some may consider this a detriment. To me, it is not my lack of satisfaction with what I have, but a constant curiosity about things I have no experience with. I am not the free flowing, constant change kind of person - but rather a slow, controlled change kind of person (and I guess this is where my fear enters the equation - in the form of perceived control).
    I feel that I set an idea in motion on purpose and see where it goes, cautiously watching and waiting for the right moment to jump in...I believe every change has its ideal moment, and that is what I look for. If you push it too soon, or too late - it ends up as something entirely different. I actively prepare as best I can, feel my way to the right moment, and then just let go and see what happens.
    But as is the nature of change, it happens when IT wants to, not when YOU want it to - right?! So, as for the unexpected change you haven't prepared for?? ...well, I guess I just keep in mind that change is constant, so really, there is no such things as unexpected change. Keeping a positive energy about us always helps keep things going in the right direction ...that, and then I hear my mama telling me that it will work out, it always does :)
    Be Well, and a Glorious New Year to you Milla ~Erin

    ..To mirror Skulleighs comment, I have always been curious about Tarot - but decks never grabbed me, until I saw your Wild Unknown, which is just so magical, and absolutely irresistible. My hubby got it for me as a Solstice gift, and so I have set to work learning. A big thank you to you for putting it out there

  8. Milla, you have bought such joy to me through your blog this year. I get excited every time I see you've made a new post!
    In 2014 I'm finally going to become vegetarian. It's something I've wanted to do for a long time but have never quite gotten up the gumption to go for it with my whole heart, well, no longer! Now is the time! I will follow my gut and try to embrace change and all the adventure before me, I love what you said about how we can have so much fear of change, but then it happens, good or bad, and you just have to get on with it. It's so true, and I want to keep that in mind, I like to think I'm quite a 'change friendly' person, but it still makes me quite nervous at times.
    I also wanted to say that after your sharing the Wild Unknown tarot so much this year I went ahead and bought the deck and guidebook for myself, I'm so excited for it's arrival.

  9. While I have a hard time thinking of the middle of the winter as the New Year (spring is when the new year starts, dammit), I hope you have a lovely one nonetheless.

    Oh, by the way, I saw this article today and it made me think of you:

    I've been reading your blog for a while -- I hope this comment posts because the last couple of times I tried to post one it didn't work!

  10. Funny my dear the word that keeps coming up for me is "brave". I seem to have a neverending supply of bravery for my husband, friends and chidren; but none for myself. Am I not worth it? Afraid of rejection? Who you and love this post. Happy New Years! The day started bright and is now rainy and super. xo

  11. I think more than anything, I fear not changing. True, there is always a bit of anxiety when change is inevitable, but I think viewing it as exciting rather than scary has helped... of course this is easy for me to say as I have no huge change on the horizon (that I can see)!

    And boy am I excited about the topics you have coming up on here! Count me in on those discussions, Milla!

  12. I'm so anxious to hear more about the "big change" you two have decided to embark upon :) I always enjoy stopping in on your blog-- so I'm also really excited to hear that you've got some killer posts up your sleeve too! I'm very intrigued by the tarot readings-- must one perform their own reading, or do you have it read to you? I've never had a reading done. I'm very curious about it though...

  13. Milla dear, what a pleasure to have you sharing all of this with us... (is this proper English? let's say it is). I look forward to your posts, familiar and new, and to more news (ta-da)!

    This new year is indeed an exciting year of change for many people I know, including myself (yay!) in a way that often implies faith in our own creative and intuitive resources.

    In French we have a saying that goes "À coeur vaillant rien d'impossible" - Nothing impossible for a brave heart :o) so there you are!

    Blessings and hugs,


  14. Happy new year Milla! And thanks for your posts: they are so inspiring and true*

  15. "What's changing for you and yours in the new year? Do you thrive on change, or like me, feel a little intimidated by it?"

    I've been bawling my eyes out this morning, during my daily two hour get-everything-done-on-the-internet-time, on exactly this topic of looming, unfathomable change. of exchanging apples for oranges and hoping that the oranges suit my internal compass better. like you, i dread change, often dig in my feet to avoid it...over the years this has softened, but when change threatens way, WAY too much of the status quo, i feel angry and resentful. i followed my internal compass to where i'm at, now why do i have to scrap it all? things seem to be loose enough in your world (i'm imagining and projecting) that change although uncomfortable doesn't knock your house down like the big bad wolf. i too am excited for more of the revelation of details from you, as well as more of that polka dot frock. happy new year to you and your little island home, your cats, your hubs, your heart. xo