Saturday, October 26, 2013

Little Red


Living on the South End  (or Deep South as some of my comrades like to say) has made a total hermit.
Being a introvert to begin with, it takes a certain amount of muster for me to get excited about social things in the first place, but being so far from the Village and having a break from some of my usual jobs has really taken this to a whole new level.

Add to it then that I'm on an epic writing bender, have all those good books to read and it's getting to be crafty times, can you blame me for blowing of a 70s dance-themed Halloween party tonight. A friend almost convinced me to go, but when she caved, so did I.

Instead, I think I'm going to go on some mushroom walks. The mycelium is strong in this one, you can barely take two steps without almost stepping on some.

While I'm pretty darn content to just be by my lonesome, I sometimes worry that in time might become a bona fide hermit, given the opportunity. When I was in high school I wrote a series of rhapsodizing essays to that effect, picturing myself as an old lady (around forty or so!) living in some Norwegian fjord, or high up on a rocky cliff in the Outer Hebrides, with a dog and some sheep and a shit-ton of books.

Now that I live in a community, it's harder to imagine becoming truly isolated, yet a part of me would not only be okay with the idea, but actually craves it. So, when absolutely necessary, I force myself to do social things, and mostly they're truly fun, or occasionally bearable.  I do this because there's a need in all of us to be part of something bigger, to dance, talk, be merry with others and because a part of me enjoys it, once I actually make up my mind to go.

But not today.


9 comments:

  1. What a nice little rush of russulas!

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    1. I like the word rush in this context. we had some shrimp ones last night. next up horse mushrooms!

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  2. beautiful, just beautiful. sure does make me miss my old stomping grounds! cheers to you, milla!. -emily k.

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  3. Your words ring true to me as well. I am an introvert bordering on hermitism. The children keep me from melting into the forest completely. They need more social stimulation than I do. So, I venture out and am a happy and content person to do so; happier, tho, when I get to disappear into the forest with camera for hours with only dog and wild birds as company. thanks for cheering my day.

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  4. if you can believe it, in high school i was obsessed with wordsworth's "She Dwelt Among the Untrodden Ways" and absolutely fancied myself an old lady (yes, around 40) hermitess with a remote forest cottage, a garden with dirt paths and violets, cats all around, and an occasional very special gentleman caller ;) Funny that the woman in the poem's name is Lucy, no wonder I've always loved the name. In any case, it was obvious then and it's even more obvious now that that was a fantasy life for one such as me, surrounded by family and friends, but fantasy it was and remains. I love your little mycelium rhapsody and I still think blowing off parties is often a wonderful soul fulfilling idea. Sometimes, in my case though, it's pure laziness and I know deep down that the conversation and energy and socializing would have done me good. Having a child makes me cherish both my alone time AND my grown up social time even more!

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  5. HI there Milla! I just read Gift From the Sea and I love how much she emphasizes the importance of solitude. For centuries women hardly ever got a moment to themselves. I too, LOVE my alone time which is all the more harder to come by these days. But I also love venturing into social events alone, as it has always been a challenge for me and I love a challenge!

    I think we are making up for lost time, for women who had to spend every second with other people for their entire lives! I treasure my runs and my mornings alone, most importantly to spend time reveling in nature, as I see you are quite industrious at doing!

    I also have to FORCE myself to do social things, but I must say usually when I do force myself I am really glad I did. But I TOTALLY understand backing out of a Halloween party. One has to be in the right frame of mind for such things, and if it's not happening, it's not happning.

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  6. Hah! Mä voisin aivan hyvin elää erakkona jossain,tosin enhän mä olisi erakko,koska mulla on lapset.
    Ihmettelen,että miten Hertasta on tullut niin sosiaalinen,kun minä mököttäisin mieluusti vain kirjojeni ja kynieni kanssa.

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