Tuesday, January 1, 2013

You Are Already Free

Welcome to 2013 dear friends. Turns out the future is way more futuristic than the scientists originally predicted...Except around here.

I've been working on a post about the highlights of my 2012 and all the things I forgot to blog about, but this morning, waking up at our friend's house after a long night of partying to the most beautiful sunrise (and blueberry-rye pancakes), I found myself pondering not the past, but the future.

Never one for resolutions, I still feel like there are some clear intentions surfacing from the depths of my subconscious mind today. Some are practical, while others are more esoteric, but they all seem to converge around the same core.
"Baby, I was born to run!" Actually nothing could be further from the truth. For as long as I can remember I've absolutely hated running for exercise. Yet it occurred to me a few years ago that I run all the time. I run to the neighbor's, I run to the store, I run out to talk to someone passing by. I love running. I just have a nasty attitude-problem about sports. While I've been running on and off for a while now, this is the year of running for me.
Meditate/ The G-word
I need to establish a solid meditation practice. Not just to sit, or be mindful in the moment, but also to delve deeply into the spiritual side of it. I need to study in addition to my practice. Studying texts, praying and pondering my relationship with, well...for the lack of a better word God, is a definite goal for me this year.
A lot of the external physical stress threatening our health is gone, but as a result of the rather epic two years of illness, I've discovered a pretty powerful calling to learn more about healing and mending. Plant allies, mushroom friends, Reiki and Jin-Shin are on my mind and bookshelf and in my home. I'm also very excited to be part of this class
I'm making some exciting new work for myself. Work to me means everything we do, not our jobs, or at least not exclusively, but "life work"; home, garden, art, animal husbandry, crafts, whatever it is that matters to me.  There's some pretty exciting, creative projects on my horizon and I want to get to work.
I think the main intention that I've uncovered today though, is joy. The joy of being in the wild, of being with my loved ones, of being a family, of being by myself, of being healthy, of faith. I want to be more aware of the joy that is presented to me every day.
It sounds simple, and fundamentally it is.  Yet all too often I find myself breezing past a chance to feel joy, because I'm too caught up with what I'm missing, what I'm waiting for, what went wrong, what I'm worried about, other people's messy emotional and physical lives.
Not today though. After our beautiful, sunlit breakfast we rode home, stopping on the way to admire cloud-clad mountains and tide pool-bound shrimp and nudibranchs.
We did chores at our own pace, feeling no pressure.
We took a family walk, cats and all, to collect Turkey Tails for the drying. The animals were happy to be out, we were happy to be out, the woods were glorious and some neighbors walked their goats up our road.
                               Except-rubber boots, a gift from mom, blouse a gift from Missa 
                                              and cape, glorious cape, a gift from Anne!

Nothing extraordinary happened. These are things we do all the time.
But we don't always take time to enjoy them, marvel at the simple magic of cats running wild in the woods, how pleased a duck can be over their meager flying ability, the offering of small fungi that help heal an organ buried deep inside your tissues.
How they appear seemingly out of nowhere. How they resemble flower buds, for they are a flower.
How much a oyster mushroom can look like a little oyster.

How, somehow, the world seems perfectly organized, how everything has its place, how it all fits together and how we fit in it.

Today was a good day, here's to 364 more.
What are your intentions/resolutions/hopes for this calendar year?


  1. mainiot kisut lenkillä mukana!Hertta (tyttöni) on ihastunut niihin:-) meidänkin entinen, nyt jo edesmennyt kissa tuli kävelyille mukaan,mutta nykyinen ei kyllä millään.
    Viittasi on kyllä aika mielettömän hieno ja tuo kurssi vaikuttaa tosi mielenkiintoiselta!

  2. Thank you for this post. So inspiring!

    Happy New year

  3. i have a feeling this is going to be a glorious year. i hope it matches the beauty of that cape ;) and yes, oh yes, cats running wild in the woods.

    as for me, i think my spirit is stirring for more activism, less passivity, a strong voice and even stronger choices. not only that, but mothering and caring for my own body and the body of the earth. i love your intentions...feel strongly drawn toward your faith/meditative/god journey and especially, always, the time for joy.

  4. oh snap honey, now i see what you mean...we are beaming parallel, for sure. i am inspired by your intentions, love that you are running (a beach and forest run would get me out of the house too), wish that i could come over so we could geek out making herbal medicine together (maybe 2013 will be a year of gathering together too? or maybe that already happened for you in 2012 ;) ). every time i see you collecting mushrooms i give an emphatic little foot stomp. it seems mushrooms call you when it is time, reveal themselves when they deem you ready, and that time has not come for me yet, but it certainly has for you and i love it.

    and oh hey...i thought that it was YOU who taught ME to not feel so alone with my wild and magical self. i'm so pleased we are mutual beneficiaries. i love you. happy new calendar! xo

  5. Milla,
    Your intentions are beautiful, and, I imagine, will serve you well throughout the next year. My intention for 2013- thanks for asking because I haven't taken a moment of say it definitively- is to change from old inherited ways of parenting to new, more thoughtful, and softer approaches. The second is to fan the flames of my creativity even as I jump into a new, uncharted territory of my life that could, without effort, swallow me whole. Or, at least I'm afraid it could. I look forward to reading about how your year unfolds!


  6. oh wowwwww. that cape!!! wooooo! such a wonderful place you live in, I dream of having woods just outside my door. and yes, I would love love love to get together!! asap! I want to plan a little valentines getaway for my little valentines and I on your isle, maybe you can suggest a cabin or somewhere dreamy to stay? 2013, we r gonna get our hang on lady! xoxo m

  7. happy new year friend! i love this post and just have to say before i forget that the cape was made for you (ok, so it's not one of a kind or "rare" but you certainly are!) and it looks gorgeous on you dawling!

    i sort of am one for resolutions. of course, i'm attempting to improve myself all year but there is something about the new year that really makes it feel like a new beginning. i've been in a spiritual slump for a good two years and am determined to get out of it this year. i'm also experimenting with my diet this month in hopes of gaining mental clarity and lifting the fog around my mind and spirit. we'll see how it goes :D hopefully this new year will bring you down this way and maybe even find me up your way! anything is possible!

    oh yes, i give you props for running. i use to run... i always think of forrest gump "From that day on, if I was going somewhere, I was RUNNING!" you have say like forrest too :D also, those mushrooms! if i even saw, let alone picked and ate, one of those mushrooms i would be so stoked.

  8. I always enjoy your self reflections and insights. and your breath taking walks on these insanely beautiful lands.

    Happy New Year, Milla. May we all find ourselves better people in 2013.

  9. I am so superstitious of resolutions, but it was a joy to read yours! your blog post late in the year 2012 about reading, got me thinking about myself and lack of reading. I was always such a flippin book-geek and somewhere amongst having kids, (and finding the internet), I stopped! But I'm on to my 4th book now since then. Spend more time reading is probably something I should continue with. I've also begun to practice my style of meditation again; wonder what it is in the blogosphere that has a few of us gals leaning towards it? I tend not to make plans for the New Year, but rather my New Life....a constant change, no time specified, no rules, just intended ideas that I hope to sprout into something like my original thoughts. (the least pressure possible) "Believing in myself" and "doing". That is what i'm working towards.
    And Milla. where do you get the time? Are you a super industrious doer, the kind I'd like to be?
    Happy Times to you babe. xoxo

  10. your blog is so beautiful!!
    your pictures are very beautiful, near my house there is a place like the samples, a forest is very cute, I feel lucky.
    Greetings from Chile, I follow you now.

  11. Happy New Year, Milla! I loved this post. Very inspiring. I have been a little behind on my resolutions- the holidays were crazy packed with adventure and travels, but now I am sick and just can't muster the energy to better myself! Maybe in a few days...

    LOVE that cape, by the way. It's perfect on you!

  12. milla, every time i read a post from you it brings me to quiet reflection and i love that!

    this year i will have a job that i love, but that i know is only temporary -- around this very time next year, it will be over. instead of focusing on what will come next and the stress of finding new work, this year i want to relax into the enjoyment and satisfaction i have gotten from this job every day so far and will no doubt continue to, even on the tougher days. i feel like i am going somewhere for the first time in a long time, and i have an odd confidence in my path, one that i am not questioning.

    lately i have been thinking about how forces beyond us bring us what we need when we need it, and how we need to just allow ourselves to accept what comes and the lessons therein. i want to be less in control and more reflective, and to allow what is to be without fighting it. i want to give up the struggle to hold onto things so tightly, and instead just let them be.

    i honestly can feel in my bones that i am going through a major life transformation right now and while i don't know precisely where i am going, i do feel that i am connected to my authentic, ecstatic self and that through that i can step forward each day with the confidence to know that what i need is around me. i think 2013 will be a banner year.

  13. such a beautiful post milla!

    happy new year to you :)

  14. such an inspiring post! very nice pics and your outfit is adorable! found your blog thru the apothecary circle, hello hello :)

  15. Turkey tails! Unfortunately, all I took was the picture... I didn't know they were like a cure for cancer! Not that I would have known what to do with them, I am kind of fungilliterate(?). That would be a good topic to get educated on in 2013. I must admit I am not one for resolutions either and like Teeny am even a bit superstitious of them. Like Anne, though, I have felt in a bit of a fog lately. I feel intentions bubbling up but am still working them out, actually all the expressing of resolutions and intentions and reflection, while beautiful and inspiring is also stressing me out a little. Need to work on lifting the fog but for sure there are some common threads that I'm identifying with like action "the doing" (I loved what you said about "work" and can't wait to hear more about yours) and "spirit". See, I don't even want to say things like yoga because then 2013 might end up like 2012 "the year of the day trip" that was so not the year of the day trip. I do however, resolve to get up there and take part in some of that wild joy with you this year! Love and miss you my sweet!

    By the way, have you read the book "Born to Run: A Hidden Tribe, Superathletes, and the Greatest Race the World Has Never Seen"? I keep hearing about how AMAZING and inspiring it is. Apparently, it will make you want to run barefoot.

  16. Great intentions! I am intent on growing our farm, getting in better shape and more travelling this year. Oh yes, and more simplifying (I especially enjoyed your wardrobe post. How much is enough?) I've also felt foggy lately and hope to kick it to the curb. The best thing for me has been writing out those intentions. That cape is divine! Made for you, indeed. Blessings on the new year to you.

  17. Hello Milla,

    I've been a longtime reader and lover of your blog, and just had to write to you today because I have the exact same cape! I bought it here in Sydney at a vintage shop last year, and now it's one of my favourite pieces. It looks great on you! Do you have any idea where it's from?

    Much love,