Saturday, September 10, 2011

Indian Summer Nights

If you've read this blog for any length of time, you know it's been a very challenging year for us in many ways. There has been illness, financial strain, death, emotional stress and unexpected shifts. There have been countless smaller distresses;things braking, negative energy, people behaving irrationally, Mercury in retrograde.
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I know that we have not been alone in all this.

In fact, it seems to me as thought the whole world, from our community and circle of friends to the wider, global community, even the planet itself, is going through a hard, strange time.
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This is not to say that things are somehow terrible. They are, in fact, getting better everyday at least in our small world. Not because the worries and accidents and illnesses are diminishing, but because our perceptions of them are shifting. We're learning to bend so as we don't brake.

Last month, when these things reaching another miserable pinnacle, I decided to make sure not to waste what little precious energy we had, not to do anything we weren't sure we could do. We said no to things. No to parties and family and friends and opportunities and in my case, the internet.
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Don't get me wrong, I love the connections this medium affords me and find it essential in keeping in touch with far-flung friends and family, but lately there has been hard to keep up with it. Maybe that's because there has been a need in my own life for some quieting, a slower pace, something the internet isn't conducive to.
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I've simply felt too bogged down to be creative, to drawn in to share my thoughts with the wider world, too tired to communicate. The chaos in my life has extended onto this blog, making me wonder what I want it to be, how serious or frivolous it's expected to be, how much I want to invest into the quality of its content, images and words.
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But as I adjust to the changed expectations, to new ideas of what I want to devote my energies to, so I guess will this little endeavor. So I will not promise more posts, or more serious content, or anything really. But I promise to be here and want all of you to know that I've been really grateful to know that all of you are here too.
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21 comments:

  1. It's always a pleasure reading your blog posts, even when you don't feel comunicative ;)

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  2. It's important to nurture yourself first sweetness. Make your own rules. Throw caution to the wind. And tell those that mean to harm you to go f*ck themselves. Or surround yourself with loving peeps who will say it for you. It is always a peaceful moment for me when I get to read one of your blog posts...I'm sure you're unaware but what you write translates to peacefulness and quietness for me. Even the loud posts where you speak with big boards...are exacting and succinct. I'm gonna send you an email right now! xx

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  3. “We’re learning to bend so as we don’t break”, reminds me of all that grows the wind breathes through causing the sway and bending…the result is stronger roots. Our struggles, our winds, our storms, create those stronger roots. The roots are of our spirit, the core of are being. Once again sweet Milla, Embrace…just as you know you are not alone gives me also the knowing that I too am not alone on those windy, stormy days. That they come and go to give a gift a gift that I, we, must choose to embrace that wind and allow our roots to grow strong. Indeed it has been a challenging time here too in the Northwoods. My tree here is beginning to stand taller, just a your tree and its lovely branches have extended out so lovelingly and honestly to so many. Thank you. Sending some LOVE your way, Sheri

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  4. Oh loving and wondrous sister of my moonheart. Your words and feelings always resonate strongly in my own spirit. And how I love to see your peaceful face. I hope that the fall brings more harmony and peace into your bending, shifting world. I just have to think that what hurts and aches means growth and freshness at the other end. I send you much love and support straight from my beaming heart.

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  5. kuulostaa oikein järkevältä ja hyvältä:-)

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  6. Take all the time you need. Your physical and mental health is so much more important. Please know that we'll be here when you feel like sharing.
    XOXO

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  7. I think that Teeny & Heather took all the words right out of my mouth :) Your blog posts are always such a joy to read and I always look forward to a visit here. At the same time, I realize the need to extend ourselves in other directions and most certainly to slow down.

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  8. i hear ya sista :D every word!

    so grateful that you are here!

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  9. Yup, I think we can all identify with this post in one way or another. You are most definitely not alone :)

    Perception is so important. It really does make all the difference and it seems to be one those life lessons that needs to be refreshed in our minds every so often. Thanks for the reminder my wise and wonderful friend.

    I wish I could sit with you and listen. Even if you have nothing to say <3

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  10. I'm always happy to hear from you, even if it's only ever once in a blue moon. Sometimes you just have to step away, and breathe, and feel and figure things out again. Let the sand settle and let the water clear. I hope things are well for you are yours, and that your bees are doing well too :)

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  11. milla, sending love to you and yours. it is indeed a strange time in this strange world. we make our way one small footstep at a time, or at least that is how i have felt this summer, and i have to keep reminding myself of that, day in and day out. it's important to allow time to be still with our thoughts, take it slow and continue that ever so gradual move forward. i just wish that movement could be less painful sometimes, but it is essential to life. hang in there and keep your head up. we are all with you.

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  12. Milla, you should never ever, ever, ever feel pressure to promise anything here. We love you because of you luminous spirit, honey-sweet words, and inspiring kindness. I wish I could come visit you and sit in the grass and make you laugh until you cried. I'd bring you peach tea for smiles, and a hand knitted sweater so that you could wear my love.

    Summer is a time when things reach the bursting point; life kicks into overdrive and everything is just too, too much. I think that's why there are the following months of "death." It's really just good 'ol Mama Earth kicking back and eating ice cream in front of the fire with her cat on her lap. Everything goes in cycles, sweetheart, and happy, breezy times are near again, I hope.

    xoxo

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  13. Firstly, Your blog is a wonder all by itself and full of brightness and a kind of peace fullness that seems so natural and graceful.

    But I imagine you ought to not write here if you don't feel compelled to, though your momentum has been greatly appreciated by all!!!! Your fluidity in words, honesty and loving expression of life are what makes this a beautiful thing. But its also your ability to share your humanity, the ups and the downs, as in this post, that make it compelling reading. Its real life after all.


    I have discovered such a wonderful circle of bloggers about here, who seem to be as supportive and inspiring as they come, and its here where I first stumbled upon many of them and from your links. I imagine your blog was the kind of blog I was looking for, to inspire me and discover all that.

    This most be a Nielsen illustration up above here......... Its so beautiful......but reminds me of colder times and deep ice caves to travel through that bring great stories of long winters turning back to light.

    Your questions about what kind of space you want this to be, seem to be a theme from a while back when you shared your days of work and toil in your overalls, and the grittier side of your days. It was good to here those too.
    I would be here to read the difficult times too!

    I am also thrilled to be your bio regional swap partner, wow thats a mouth full, and am taking delight in the gathering.
    This must be my longest comment ever: )

    Warmest of blessings for brighter days and clarity xx E

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  14. Oh and THANK YOU for visiting my blog, Your comment was so heartfelt and made me smile from ear to ear. I have been ill the last few days having burned the candle both ends for a while. I am recovering today and gladdened down to me toes to be able to check in to find your words. xx

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  15. I can also totally relate to all your sentiments here. Especially recently. Refreshing to see we all experience these doubts/exhaustions/burnouts, ect in regards to blogging & the internet in general. And I totally agree that a healthy break once and awhile does a body (and soul) good. And then we come back and are keen on our blog kin all over again :)

    xx

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  16. Even tho you might be going thru tough times, you are looking radiant as ever...keep up the sexiness! :)

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  17. Beautiful photos.
    I always enjoy reading your posts - thank you for choosing to share parts of your life with us :)
    As someone else said - we will be here when you feel like posting again. But you shouldn't feel under any pressure! Only post when/what you want.

    nightofbones.blogspot.com
    xxx

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  18. i feel ya, sister. but don't go too far.

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