Sunday, May 18, 2008

Different names for the same thing

I'm an obsessive person. By this I mean, that I often get overly fascinated with something that interests me, to the point where I simply have to know absolutely every little thing about it. For days and weeks, I can talk of nothing else. People around me get this glaze-over look in their eyes. It might all seem kinda scary, to the casual observer.
I've made a point of not collecting anything, because I'm worried it might drive me insane, should I fail to procure that one final Remington Standard typewriter, first edition copy of "A Tree Of Night", or Kellet's Whelk, which would make my collection complete.
My obsessions are thankfully rather varied and my attention span rather short, so it's unlikely I'll ever become one of those terrifying people who have one passion that determines them as a person, of which they ramble on ad nauseam and ad infinitum. Still, in moments of passing clarity, I take a step back to marvel at what a tremendous geek I can be. Most often this occurs when I look up and suddenly realize, that three hours have lapsed since I googled in "Maya Deren", or "North American wolf populations".
My sole, slim solace is that, obsession, is really just another word for passion. One is intrigued by something, because they are drawn to it, even if it's something disquieting, or repulsive, like, say my long-standing obsession with serial killers. Whatever interests one develops in the course of their life, are always reflections, whether we like to admit it, not, of ones own psyche. To explore them, is to explore yourself, the part of you, that can admire for hours, the perfect curve of a Kellet's Whelk.

Listening to: Death Cab For Cutie

Maya Deren was an experimental filmmaker, anthropologist, a dancer, poet, writer, choreographer and quite possibly a lunatic and a witch.
is a Kellet's Whelk.


  1. Hehe. Sadly, I recognize a bit of myself in that. For me it's not so much about things either (and I agree, collecting something could very possibly drive me insane!) but about doing things. Like hobbies of sorts. Growing bonsai trees, growing my hair, knitting, pottery, doing some other craft... In a way I associate this with the fact that I work (paint) periodically and in the meantime I get obsessed about doing something else, that gets my mind off of work. Why is it so hard to just do many things at once, and in a sanely manner, like most people? Why do I get so sucked into ONE THING at a time? My concentration is so poor, as is my attention span. One of my bonsai is still alive. I never got to glazing the pottery I made (bonsau pots, to be exact.)

  2. mary oliver yes i love her

    also you're new picture is just too perfect, you're a vision.

  3. I have this image of the people around you rolling their eyes while saying: "Alright, enough already.. with the sea shells and the serial killers, we get it!" Hilarious. You are a quirky girl Miss Milla, I like that about you, and quite intriguing yourself!

  4. Yes, I always try to restrain myself because I can be a bit "crash and burn" when it comes to things I love, so I try to schedule little mental vacations for myself.

  5. PS-- would you like to play the Six Quirks game? Find the details here:

    Have fun!


  6. I am the same way! My whole life I've gone through 'phases' where I get so obsessed and consumed by something, just be absorbed by it totally. Some of them have carried over and repeat throughout my life, but yeah. I rather like it, although I wish I could apply the same passion and obsession to my school-work :D

  7. Maya Deren in just terrific. I've been obssesed for her for a long time, and for this kind of dreamy-impossible films. Have you seen the documentary about her life, "In the Mirror of Maya Deren"?

  8. oh gosh, i can relate to this more than you know. i'm glad i'm not the only one. i am constantly finding things i want to research. i think it's a good thing. but sometimes i feel a little strange about it.
    i'm so glad i found your blog.